Mi diceva che era innamorato, che ci saremmo sposati e che avremmo avuto una casa bellissima con dei bambini.
Lui mi piaceva molto.
L'avevo conosciuto tramite amici comuni qualche anno prima. Un ragazzo un pò introverso, un pò held attitudes, but very polite and friendly with everyone.
often dreamed of finding a boy who loved me and wanted to live with me, to make them independent from my last, with which the ratio of parent / daughter was not the best. And here he arrive ... and it was love!
Sometimes, however, he was strange, sudden mood changes.
If I received phone calls to my phone wanted to know who he was insistently. I took the phone and read me the messages. This gave me a little annoyed, but I thought it was his love. That little bit of jealousy that makes you feel wanted and truly "own".
After a couple of years I got a little crisis. The its continuous monitoring, his jealous, I was exasperated!
I was often tempted to leave.
But then he gently told me that he loved me and could not live without me and that I should understand him as he cared for me. So after some time decided to get married. Everything as in a fairy tale!
He began to beat me now. I had become his thing.
I was alone, without friends, because he had made me miss them all.
When he came home from work any excuse was good to beat me. The excuse could be that the food preparation and that was good for him, because he could be home late from shopping, because I had spent more money than expected or because the children had done all the homework.
He beat me for everything I did or said. I wanted to leave, but where? With my family I had a good relationship, let alone if I were accepted back in their home.
Then I had children. My poor children, watched terrified of the violence.
He kept hitting me as if I were the cause of all evils. And the blows were not enough, there were the humiliations, the insults.
Sometimes I dragged by the hair and forced me to have sex .
Sometimes the blows were so strong that force him to accompany me to the hospital for medicate me. I lied to doctors. I said that I fell down the stairs, I tripped, or had fought against a mobile.
I never reported for fear of shame and because he was the father of my children.
recently had begun to drink well. And when he came home drunk, there was nothing that could save me from his fury!
once forced me to have sex with him under threat of a knife! Making love with a knife to the throat.
One day I decided to say stop to this. It threatened that if I would not stop reported. But he did not stop.
I turned to a priest who tried to talk to him. But he I did not understand and blame all violence by denying her, telling lies to justify himself, saying I was a little good, I had other men! It was all in vain.
He became increasingly violent.
One day he went away from home, without explanation, said the separation without even informing.
We are now divorced. I have not seen or heard.
course does not give me any money for food for children as determined by the court.
I have enormous economic difficulties, I'm alone with my children, but at least I no longer live in fear. But I have a great emptiness inside me.
HE killed me kept alive!
How many stories like mine? How many girls and women who dreamed of a life with their partner. Getting married to have children, a house and love, the love and the beautiful fairy tale instead turned into horror!
How many dreams been torn by violent men with their mates?
How many of these men before the marriage or cohabitation, "were" lovely people, but available and then turned from prince to ogre?!
Vera Innocenti
http://mamma-forever.blogspot.com/
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